一个字的忧伤 The Sorrow of a Character 2005-2018

没有很久以前,有一个字,新新的,从来没有在这个世界上露过面。它不是那种完全甘于现状、无所追求的字。它觉得有些忧伤,觉得自己被世界遗忘了。因此它非常想把自己印到报纸上去。等到它把勇气鼓足的那一天,它去见一家报社的主编。

主编大人说:“你这个字,还不错的,可是。你的个头太大了,我们的版面有限啊……” 这个字说:“没关系阿,我可以改嘛!我可以变小啊。”

它好几天不吃不喝,把自己瘦成了不到原来的十分之一。它又虚弱又苍白,到了主编的门前,它几乎没有力气站起来了。

主编一开始并没有认出它来,他看了一会,又摇摇头说:“个头是差不多了,但是你的棱角太突出了,我完全是站在一个普通读者的角度来看,你的形象太刺激了。 ”

这个字说:“没关系阿,我回家自己磨啊!”

它买回一块磨刀石,一天到晚沙沙地,不停地打磨自己,那些突起的地方都磨平了,它摸了摸自己:太光滑了!它不得不又做了一个三角架把自己搁稳,要不然它就会不停地滚来滚去的。

主编其实已经认不出它来了,半餉才说:“哦,还不错啊……光彩照人啊,但是你以前在别的地方用过吗?为别的党派工作过吗?有没有参与过有政治问题的言论?有经济问题吗?有没有乱搞过男女关系?有没有被非法组织利用过?你这个样子会不会是练过什么功吧?……”

这个字不住的摇头:“老天啊!我可是干干净净的一个字啊,还没有被别人用过呢!”

“还是个处女字?”这个主编喜欢开点玩笑,他一下子变得心情很好:“这样吧,你能不能自己出点钱,我们马上就把你刊登上去,这样我也好对其他编辑有个交代?”

这个可怜的字有个可怜的坚持,大家都说最惨惨不过卖身了,难道还要自己出钱把自己卖了?这个字不由得悲从心起,就在主编室里嚎啕大哭起来。

主编思考了一会,对它说:“好了好了,这样吧,你可以上我们的报纸,但是有一个条件,为了不闹出什么事,你在里面必须不露声色地……”

现在你们明白了吧?为什么你们看报纸的时候,偶尔会在里面发现一两个莫名其妙的空 格。

那就是它,这个字。

蒋志

2005年1月9日 深圳

The Sorrow of a Character

Not too long ago, there was a new character that had never shown itself to the world. It was not the kind of character that was completely satisfied with the status quo and had no ambition, so it felt a little depressed, as though it had been forgotten by the world. The character really wanted to see itself printed on the newspaper, so one day, when it had mustered enough courage to make itself known, it went to see the Editor-in-chief of a newspaper.

“A character like you is not bad,” the Editor-in-chief said, “but your size is too big, and we have such limited space…” “That won’t be a problem,” the character said, “I can change! I can make myself smaller.”

The character starved itself for several days and managed to reduce its size to less than 10% of what it was before. Weak and pale, it showed up at the Editor-in-chief’s door again. It almost didn’t have enough strength to remain standing.

The Editor-in-chief didn’t recognize it at first. He stared at the character for a while, shook his head again and said, “The size is alright now, but your edges are too sharp. I’m speaking entirely from an ordinary reader’s point of view. Your appearance is too disturbing.

“No problem,” the characters said, “I’ll go polish myself at home!” It bought a honing stone and started to hone itself day and night without pause, until all the protruding parts had been smoothed out. It touched itself—too smooth! So it had to make itself a tripod for support, or it would just keep rolling around.

The Editor-in-chief could no longer recognize the character this time. “Well, that’s not bad…stunning, really,” He said after a long pause, “but have you been used somewhere else before? Did you ever work for other parties? Have you ever expressed anything politically problematic? Do you have any financial problems? Did you mess around with men/women? Were you used by any illegal organizations? Look at you—you weren’t in some kind of cult, were you?…”

“For God’s sake, I’m a clean character!” the character kept shaking its head. “I have never been used before!”

“A virgin character?” The Editor-in-chief enjoyed making jokes, and his mood lightened. “Alright, how about you put in a little money yourself? We can put you on the newspaper immediately, and I’ll also have something to say to the other editors.”

This pathetic character was pathetically uncompromising. They said it couldn’t get worse than having to sell one’s body, but did it have to pay for selling itself too? Sorrow overtook the character, and it broke down sobbing in the Editor-in-chief’s office.

The Editor-in-chief thought for a while and said, “There there, how about this, you can be printed on our newspaper, but there’s one condition—to make sure you won’t make any trouble, you have to stay quiet while…”

Now do you understand? The reason you will occasionally find an unexplained empty space or two in the newspaper. That’s it—the character.

Shenzhen, 2005